So much to say about this.
Let's begin with, "yes, there are cheaters". Despite what bkmod claims. Cheaters always find a way.
But "no, that 10 to 25% faster is due to using hotkeys". Hotkeys really safe you a lot of time.
If they don't want to explain to you how they play. They want to keep kicking your ass. Don't play with them.
But if they do want to explain to you how they play with hotkeys. Learn from them. Listen to them. So they aren't lonely and ignored anymore for a while.
Personally, the best group was in Red Alert. I relearned Q and hotkeyed map portions. It has been a while though, since I have life.
In td, I swear, exactly 1 of them always cheats and never wants to share his way of playing, nor does he allow you to watch as observer. The rest was just toxic.
In ts, I have seen the replays, most of them are really good. But you need to learn to start grouping units. And some like to share, how they got skilled.
TS is a good group to learn in.
If you don't feel like playing against "cheaters". Don't play with them, period.